Konjekturales Denken

Constant Parent - Ego I

The Parent Ego state is characterized by behaviors unique to parents. When operating from the Parent Ego structure, one may be judgemental and opinionated in the one hand, or supportive and nurturing on the other.

Hence, the two expressions of the Parent Ego structure may be seen; the Critical Parent and the Nurturing Parent. These roles are introjected into children at an early age as they mentally, emotionally, and psychically ingest the thoughts, feelings, and responses of parental interactions with them.

An aberrant and unhelpful expression of the Parent Ego state is the Constant Parent. This condition is described as "Exclusion", and exists when other ego states are prevented from functioning.

A healthy, integrated Adult Ego structure will balance the three Ego states appropriately, and some have suggested a healthy identity would be characterized by a happy blend of a nurturing Parent, an open adult, and a spontaneous child. But when exclusion occurs in the Parent Ego state, healthy expressions of the Child and Adult Ego state are repressed and not allowed.

Spouses, family members, subordinates, and friends are treated as children who either need to be critiqued and commanded, or helpless victims who need to be cared for and coddled. The Constant Parent tends to be a "Know-It-All" who has all the answers, can solve all the problems, and can do it better than anyone else. That is why they are constantly performing for everyone else.

They are domineering and authoritarian, and have a tendency to want to solve other people's problem, and control the lives of the people around them. The Constant Parent may be the corporate manager who runs the department with an iron fist, looking over the shoulder of every employee, since he or she knows better how to do the job of everyone in the department.

He or she may be the church secretary who constantly corrects the pastor's sermon and the church bulletin, who choreographs the choir even though he or she is not the choir director, and answers for other members of the church when they are not present.

The Constant Parent may have a reputation for being hard working, when in actuality he or she may be such a "control freak" they have to work more hours since they are busy doing everyone else's job for them.

Although they may be highly successful on the job and often build big business empires, they depend on surrounding themselves with Constant Children who will submit to their dictatorial style. They tend to have difficulty in relationships, since they are often humorless and inflexible.

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