Konjekturales Denken

Personality executive, Jailer or Change Agent II

The parent-ego makes judgments about the person as the parents passed judgment on the child. And the parent-ego as jailer must enforce the consequences. You must feel guilty. You must never be angry. You are not loved. You cannot make decisions for yourself or hold your own opinions.

You will not be successful. You are a bad person. You are always a victim. When the jailer is the personality executive, all assumptions filter through the constraints or “jail” the jailer imposes. The unfortunate fact is that the reality of what we choose to believe can become reality. By living the punishment the jailer imposes, we often end up in the state the jailer holds to be real.

A common example may be seeing coworkers seeming to hide something and sneak around. The adult could choose to believe that this is an act of deliberate withdrawal and decide that this is a sign that the person is about to be fired or laid off. The adult seeks more information and snoops around the desks of others looking for a clue as to when they will be axed.

Then the person finds a congratulations card with their name on it on a staff member’s desk, and on the inside is a note on the performance bonus the adult will be receiving. One new piece of evidence provides a new reason as to why the coworkers were sneaking around.

The personality executive evaluates the new information. The person’s opinion of the intent of co-workers changes. It wasn’t malicious after all. It was to keep a pleasant surprise secret. The change agent evaluations new information and adjusts opinions accordingly. Yet the act of snooping around the desks of others, if caught, could result in the person being fired because managers assume the person was stealing.

The change agent is the opposite of the jailer. The jailer acts to maintain the same emotional state or opinions, regardless of the information presented. For example, a woman could decide that her boyfriend is cheating. The jailer in her case is assuming “you’ll never be loved”.

She could read his messages, install spying software on his computer and follow him when he leaves the house. A change agent could see him meeting with a female at lunch and notice her uniform is that of an employee. It could be a social lunch with a coworker. It could be a sign he is having an affair with a coworker.

(continued from part I)

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