Konjekturales Denken

Extroverted Effects of Parent - Ego II

The rational and mature approach of the Adult Ego state tends to elicit a reasonable Adult Ego state response. The playful spontaneity of the Natural Child Ego state could elicit a playful response, but it is just as likely to call forth the critical reprimand of the Critical Parent, or the soothing encouragement and approval of the Nurturing Parent.

This is where the perception of third parties can be invaluable in transactional analysis, counseling, and coaching. The mystifying tangle of a morning greeting gone awry can be untangled by the skillful coach or analyst who can help the parties understand the Ego state they are operating in, the response it tends to elicit, and how to gain greater self-awareness.

Of course it is much more complicated than that, but the wisdom of Transactional Analysis is to begin with those simple transactions or communications, and then uncover all the ego states, scripts, drivers and injunctions, and personality traits that lay buried beneath those seemingly innocuous conversations.

Perceptions or attributions by third parties can also affect transactions and Ego states from another angle. If Dad's response to Junior's foolishness was always a disgusted, "you're just like your Uncle Billy.

Junior may look at Uncle Billy, and hear the family repeatedly call him a clown and blowhard, and interpret that to me that he himself is an offensive, annoying person to others. In fact, he may internalize this third party attribution as, "I am an offensive, bothersome person", or, "I am socially awkward and inappropriate".

Thus the person who is offended today by a loud greeting may be on the receiving end of a third party message years ago that told the offender, "You are offensive and socially awkward". "Just exactly what did you mean by that?" The other person may not be able to tell you themselves.

(continued from part I)

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