Parent-Child Dynamics - Examples
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- Parent Category: Persönliches Wachstum
- Category: Persönliches Wachstum
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In “Schlemiel”, the victim makes a mess and then is forgiven by the adult. “Schlemiel” can be used as a source of revenge for the “child” while putting the onus on the adult. In "Catch me if you can", the child rebels by doing what they want without approval, such as a husband or wife spending outside the budget dictated by the other.
In the game "If It Weren't For You", the parent seeks revenge on the child by blaming the child for the parent’s failings. The adult states they would have more money, better living conditions, better relationships or another quality of life if the child was not dependent upon them. Yet the child may then a double victim, denied the freedom of an adult-adult relationship and punished by the “adult” as the source of the adult’s problems. In “Cops and Robbers”, the robber continually ups the ante until they are caught.
The robber may be a liar, a cheater, a thief or someone who spends money the couple does not have. The robber may act out of perceived revenge against the “cop” for laying down overly strict rules or for punishing too much for minor transgressions in an effort to assert control.
The short-coming of most games is that they reinforce the parent-child dynamic or the “I’m OK – You’re Not OK” life positions of one of the parties. Counseling based on transactional analysis can help evolve relationships from parent-child to adult-adult. This matures each party in their social relationships. Those currently stuck in a child ego state or victim status become empowered without the “adult” in the relationship being reduced to a child role in the relationship.
You will find more on Parent-Child Dynamics and Transaction Analysis on SkillZone.
