Life Scripts II

 It is particularly important to recognize and reward initiative and achievement, even if it turns out badly or the results are not perfect, otherwise the person may feel that nothing they do is ever good enough and they may become totally discouraged from trying to improve.

This is a mistake quite often made by parents. A child who has been getting ‘Cs comes home with ‘B’s and is told, “Why not ‘A’s?” This is very discouraging and inhibits any desire to improve. The parents in this case often feel they are encouraging the child to improve, but the need to recognize and reward the achievement, even if it is short of perfection should be the prime consideration, not how the performance could have been better. The child already knows that ‘B’s are not as good as ‘A’s. The good manager needs to be careful not to commit the same type of error at work.

Praise for effort as well as achievement is important. Love is very close to hate in some ways. Everyone prefers love vs hate. But if it seems impossible to get love and praise, many will accept hate and approbation instead. Any attention is better than none. The need to be loved is very important. One should not stint praise. Even if improvement is not immediately obvious but an effort has been made, ungrudging praise can have an astonishing effect on motivation and performance. Look for reasons to praise – this is much more effective than reprimands. Instead of reprimanding (Parent – Child) it is better to discuss reasons for poor performance and what needs to change to enable improved performance (Adult – Adult) and what assistance may be necessary.



All people use life scripts, which are rules for behavior formed from our earliest years of life which affect our behaviour and hence our success or failure for the rest of our lives. These Transactional Analysis Life Scripts are basically our bedrock initial belief system, and from our beliefs flow our attitudes.

Schmiede das Eisen solange es heiß ist.


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